Mary’s Chair

Everything was wonderful, being here was heavenly

All day long I sat and felt comfortable and free

I used to be so careless, forgot it was a hot desk

Didn’t have my name on it, though I was happy there

 

Suddenly I had to move, somebody was in my place

Suddenly I’m sent away to hot-desk somewhere else

I couldn’t find a seat that didn’t have a warning sign upon the back

So I had to take a chance and sit in Mary’s chair

 

I’d better not change the settings

Leave the seat as it is

‘Cos if I should make adjustments

Mary would get so angry

 

Blessed is the one who has his very own office space

With an orthopaedic chair in which to sit all day

I couldn’t find a seat that didn’t have a warning sign upon the back

So I had to take a chance and sit in Mary’s chair

 

I’d better not change the settings

Leave the seat as it is

‘Cos if I should make adjustments

Mary would get so angry

And then she would smash my face in

And stick some pins in my eyes

And tear out my large intestine

All for tinkering with her seat

 

I’m hopin’ that she won’t come back, that she’ll get fired or quit her job

Then I can adjust the height so I don’t hurt my spine

But if she’s back the very next day, Mary’s gonna blow her top

She’ll hunt me down and beat me up for messing with her chair

 

I’d better not change the settings

Leave the seat as it is

‘Cos if I should make adjustments

Mary would get so angry

And then she would smash my face in

And stick some pins in my eyes

And tear out my large intestine

All for tinkering with her seat

 

Save me! Save me! She’s tryin’ to staple my head

All because I changed the height on Mary’s favourite chair

What I wouldn’t give to have a desk with my own chair

What I wouldn’t give to have a desk with my own chair

Tune composed by Gary Clark

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